Monday, March 14, 2011

Confessions of a Lazy Writer

Yes, I know that you're surprised to see a post from me...Before I continue, I have to say this...forgive me followers, for it's been almost two months since my last post.  To any Catholics reading this, I by no means intend to trivialize the ritual of Confession.

See, one thing I didn't reveal in my last post was that I discovered, and thoroughly enjoyed, Texas Hold'em Poker while I was home in Newfoundland in January. Since then, every time I pick up the laptop to work on my novel, my fingers are drawn by a cruel, powerful force to the PokerStars icon on my desktop. I'm currently at a difficult place in my novel...and instead of doing the research I need to do, and the untangling of the complicated plot, well...I've been letting poker distract me and consume my time.  Bottom line...I'm being a lazy writer, and letting dreams of becoming the next Loose Cannon on " The Big Game" TV show fill my head. I even deleted the program from my computer last week, but that taunting, miserable force got the best of me again and I, well...loaded it once again. [she huffs, and hangs her head in exasperation.]

Right now, today, I feel I am at a crossroads.  I have a decision to make.  Poker player or novelist. Don't tell me to weigh the pros and cons, because anyone who is a serious writer knows that there are innumerable cons to writing: excessive amount of time spent outlining, researching, writing, editing, re-writing, blogging, following other's blogs, writing groups, critiquing, reading, editing again, re-writing again - and all of this is done at the expense of family and friends. AND, there are no guarantees that my dream of becoming a published author will happen; I'd have to get damn lucky.

Poker, on the other hand, I believe has more pros than cons: you can socialize with friends and family while playing poker with them (a big pro): there is no monetary cost to me to have a shot at becoming a pro - I can earn a spot at pro tournaments by winning "freeroll" tournaments online where my expenses and buy-ins are included; poker pros earn and are worth millions of dollars; it's really fun: and if I ever do become lucky enough to make it big, I decide when and where I want to play.  No deadlines or pushy agents and publishers.

But, we all know what I'm going to decide, don't we, because you are writers, too?  Writing is my first love.  I've married and divorced this love many times, and no matter now many times I neglect the relationship, I am always welcome back.  It makes me high when people say they love my work (yes, I'm a little bit of a narcissist). And even though I won't be worth millions if and when it's is published, my work is priceless to me. I guard and protect it an fierce maternal manner. You know what I mean.  So, here we go again.  I'm going to say it once more...I'm back.


Old Kitty said...

I think I'd be more concerned if you DIDN'T have an all-consuming distraction from your writing! LOL!!!

Yay for being a normal writerly person!!! :-)

You'll get there even with the poker hurdles cos writing is in your blood! Take care

chadmawn said...

I feel your pain. My addiction is video games and facebook. It's a little too easy to get frustrated while writing and fire up a game, or idly browse facebook. I wouldn't get too hung up on research, though. That's why they call it a first draft. Just bang the thing out, then go back and change or re-write whatever you have to based on your research. Whatever you do, whether it be writing or poker, remember to have fun! :)

Kelly M. Olsen said...

Thanks, guys. It's nice to know that I'm not alone, Chad. And Old Kitty, you are so always have kind words.

Jessica Bell said...

Hi There! Thanks for stopping by my blog :o) so very sweet and great to see you! PS:of course, your work is precious! And it is worth MILLIONS in your heart. Keep it that way. Cheers, Kelly!

Margo Berendsen said...

I love how you put it - I've married and divorced many times with this love!

Me too! It's priceless to me too even if it never gets published. I say all us bloggers out to publish our work to each other.

Jennifer Lane said...

Welcome back! I've had some internet related addictions in my life, before I started writing. One was the scrabble game Literati on yahoo games. Then I got hooked on the message board for my favorite TV show. Now at times Twitter can be addictive if I'm not careful. Is there a way to skip forward and work on the part of the novel after the complicated part? Or maybe you've decided to dive right back into the yucky stuff. Good luck!