Saturday, September 11, 2010


Be careful what you ask for; you just may get it.

Oh how I wish I had all the answers to life's mysteries.  I wish I could guarantee my Mom that there is much more for her beyond this place - beyond this life; but it is only because of faith I can make that assumption.  After all, faith is the belief in something intangible - something that can't be proven.

Even with faith, I wish I could assure her that it is her faith that is the one that holds the truth; all the other faiths are riddled with faults and inaccuracies; but it is only because of the demographics of where she and I were born do we hold true our faith.  If we were born in some other part of the world, we could very well hold true Buddhism or Islam beliefs.

What I can tell her is that I understand her fears.  I can relate to is the possibility being ill enough to fear separation from your loved ones forever.  Such a real, paralyzing fear it is, for sure.  And what I can guarantee her is that we are all going to die; she is just one of the ones who knows by which means and that her time is shorter than she had hoped.

I've heard my mother say many times that she is sick, and tired, of being sick; that she doesn't know why God doesn't just take her.  Admittedly, I've asked myself the same about her.  I've felt for a long time that she's been living on borrowed time.

I've watched others lose loved ones unexpectedly - tragically - and have heard them proclaim that they wished they just had a little more time to tell them how they felt; that they wanted their dearly departed to know that they were loved.  As a funeral director, yes, I've seen and heard that much too often.

My mother found out today that she has incurable pancreatic cancer that has likely spread.  Not a good prognosis, by any stretch of the imagination.  She asked me tonight how she should react.  I told her that anything she was feeling was appropriate.  We all have a right to our feelings.  She's not sure the news has hit her yet, but I get a sense that it has.  I also get a resounding gut feeling that she is somewhat relieved - fear set aside - that someone has finally listened to her, and even though it is all a little too late, she has some resolution...some affirmation.

I'll be helping her make the most of the time she has left.  I have not been the ideal daughter.  Admittedly, I have had little patience with the choices she's made, or with understanding why she had chosen a solitary and, what I felt, was an unfulfilled life.  Complete and utter arrogance on my part.  I've always wanted more for her.  A healthier lifestyle, a rich and fulfilling circle of relationships, engaging hobbies, travel, even a love relationship.  For reasons of her own, she's chosen none of these.  Maybe or maybe not those choices have contributed to the situation she is in right now.  Who am I to say?  All I know know is that she is in the throws of the biggest and most difficult transition she will ever make.  I'll be standing there, holding her hand until it's complete.

I won't be blogging much in the close foreseeable future.  If I do, it will probably be about the transition I am going through, as well.  I appreciate your patience understanding.

Until next time,

Friday, September 10, 2010

Family First

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging as often as I'd like.  My Mom went into the hospital on Tuesday and has been told she'll be in there for quite a while.  So, thats where I've been and will be for a while.  I'll blog when I have the time and have something worthwhile to say.

However, I would still love it if you would all comment and tell me your favorite and most valuable website; one that you, as a writer, couldn't not live without.  I'm still a ways away from the Top 40.  You could hasten the process if you link my blog on your blog to get more people contributing.

Until next time, take care and write on!


Monday, September 6, 2010

Write at Home with Kelly's Top 40

Okay, thanks to KarenG's rockin' Blog BBQ this weekend, my followers have almost doubled.  I'm thrilled about that.  We all know that, as writers, we are constantly learning - honing our craft - and I feel so fortunate that I live in an age where information is instantaneous, thanks to the Internet.

I received an email from Writer's Digest.  Because I am a subscriber, I get their Newsletter, and this one contained it's 101 Best Websites for Writers.  A lot of them - the majority, actually - I'm familiar with and have in my favorites.  I asked myself, if I had to choose only one website to use, which one would it be.  After much contemplation I have to say that my answer would have to be  Even though I haven't really utilized them a whole lot at this point, I know they are going to be invaluable when it's time to step it up.

So, I'm posing the same question to my followers.  I have close to fifty followers, so my goal is to create a Writing Blogger's Top 40 Most Valuable Websites. Which is your favorite, and most treasured website or Internet resource? This compilation can be a great asset to our fellow bloggers. Leave a comment, and if you want to take it a step further, link my blog on your blog, and you never know...maybe we can make our very own Top 101.

Have a great week.

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Friday, September 3, 2010


I'd like to welcome any new visitors to my blog.  I hope you're all having a blast at the BIG BBQ BLOG PARTY, hosted by the amazing KarenG.  If you haven't already, pop on over and join the party.

I've been visiting a lot of your blogs just to say hi, but I promise that when this party is over, and the hangover has subsided, I'll take more time to get to know you all better.

Enjoy the weekend.  I will be!

Talk at you later,


Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's All About the Beer!

You know what gets my creative juices flowing? Guinness Irish Stout!  Yup.  I don't know what it is, but for some reason, when I see the creamy, foamy head doing it's sensuous dance through the black gold when I pour it into my Guinness glass, I wanna write.

I was told that for generations, Stout was used to increase one's appetite.  Physicians would recommend it to patients who had lost their appetite due to illness, and sure enough, just like how that weed  people smoke (illegally) gives one an appetite, Guinness reportedly does the same thing.  Hmm...maybe that's another reason I've put on weight - the beer, not the weed.

While just drinking one beer, I've finished answering 45 questions about my main character which I will use to help me turn this literary novel I'm currently working on into an emotionally and character driven best seller.  I'm on fire!

[Kelly's readers cannot help but think that she has had maybe one beer too many, as they believe it is ludicrous for Kelly to think that she'll turn out a best seller. Writers from all over the world for millennium have been earning the right to assume that their next work may be that next big thing, but only after they have published a plethora of articles, poems, and short-stories to prove they have the capabilities to be up to the job...geesh!]

Yes, people...I know it's absurd to have such high hopes.  But I have to admit that I'm very excited about my wip.  I don't even want to tell you about it, for fear that someone will run off with my concept.  And again, I know, I'm being ridiculous.  No one wants my book idea, you all have your own brilliant ideas.

I am proud of myself though, for conquering this life-long problem I've had with procrastination...for the time being, anyway.  So, I'll get done what I can while I have access to the couple of Guinness that sit in my fridge.
Didn't some of the most brilliant authors of all time indulge in alcoholic creative juices?  I'm sure I read that somewhere.

Oh, oh!  Damned fruit flies!! Get away from that beer!

Honey, can you bring me my sippy-cup, please? that's better.

I apologize in advance for this post!

I'll talk at you tomorrow.


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