Yes, I know that you're surprised to see a post from me...Before I continue, I have to say this...forgive me followers, for it's been almost two months since my last post. To any Catholics reading this, I by no means intend to trivialize the ritual of Confession.
See, one thing I didn't reveal in my last post was that I discovered, and thoroughly enjoyed, Texas Hold'em Poker while I was home in Newfoundland in January. Since then, every time I pick up the laptop to work on my novel, my fingers are drawn by a cruel, powerful force to the PokerStars icon on my desktop. I'm currently at a difficult place in my novel...and instead of doing the research I need to do, and the untangling of the complicated plot, well...I've been letting poker distract me and consume my time. Bottom line...I'm being a lazy writer, and letting dreams of becoming the next Loose Cannon on "PokerStars.net: The Big Game" TV show fill my head. I even deleted the program from my computer last week, but that taunting, miserable force got the best of me again and I, well...loaded it once again. [she huffs, and hangs her head in exasperation.]
Right now, today, I feel I am at a crossroads. I have a decision to make. Poker player or novelist. Don't tell me to weigh the pros and cons, because anyone who is a serious writer knows that there are innumerable cons to writing: excessive amount of time spent outlining, researching, writing, editing, re-writing, blogging, following other's blogs, writing groups, critiquing, reading, editing again, re-writing again - and all of this is done at the expense of family and friends. AND, there are no guarantees that my dream of becoming a published author will happen; I'd have to get damn lucky.
Poker, on the other hand, I believe has more pros than cons: you can socialize with friends and family while playing poker with them (a big pro): there is no monetary cost to me to have a shot at becoming a pro - I can earn a spot at pro tournaments by winning "freeroll" tournaments online where my expenses and buy-ins are included; poker pros earn and are worth millions of dollars; it's really fun: and if I ever do become lucky enough to make it big, I decide when and where I want to play. No deadlines or pushy agents and publishers.
But, we all know what I'm going to decide, don't we, because you are writers, too? Writing is my first love. I've married and divorced this love many times, and no matter now many times I neglect the relationship, I am always welcome back. It makes me high when people say they love my work (yes, I'm a little bit of a narcissist). And even though I won't be worth millions if and when it's is published, my work is priceless to me. I guard and protect it an fierce maternal manner. You know what I mean. So, here we go again. I'm going to say it once more...I'm back.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Home is Where the Love is.
I'm sitting at Pearson International Airport in Toronto, Ontario waiting to catch the last leg back to Red Deer, Alberta - the place I currently call home. My son and I are on our way there after spending the last eleven days in St. John's, Newfoundland - the place of our birth. I left that city with my son when he was only one year old; he's now fourteen. Of course, he doesn't remember much of the place, but to anyone I know who's visited St. John's - stranger or former resident- that old, old city just feels familiar. There's a warmth and friendliness that satisfies that needs to feel belonged in each of us. I think my son is no exception.
Even though sad circumstances were the catalyst that brought us back to Newfoundland - I brought my mother back there to be laid to rest - the results of this trip were immeasurably precious to both of us. We had the blessing of seeing numerous friends and relatives whom, I am ashamed to say, I've let slip slowly from my life over the years. Promises have been made by all that this will not happen again, and after gaining a new appreciation and respect for them, that is one promise I intend to keep. After being estranged from my father for the last four years, my mother's illness and subsequent death brought us all back together. Staying with and getting to catch up with my father was very cathartic to both my son and I. Not having his grandmother anymore, knowing he now has a grandfather he can rely on to be there is priceless. There was nothing I wanted more for my son than to have that. It's kinda nice for me to have him back in my life, too [understatement].
BUT...eleven days away from my husband, my stepchildren, my house and our pets is almost more than I can take. To listen to my husband and I on the phone, or to read our texts this past week, I'm sure you would swear we were two hyper-hormoned teenagers. I've been in Alberta for thirteen years. There is no place like the comfort of your own bed, the routine of your own household, the loving embrace of your partner in live, and the gift of watching your children grow; and all of this is in Alberta. My heart is torn; I've caught myself saying two recurring sentences while in Newfoundland: "I'm home from Alberta" and "When I go home to Alberta". Home really is where the love is.
I'll talk to you later,
Kelly
Even though sad circumstances were the catalyst that brought us back to Newfoundland - I brought my mother back there to be laid to rest - the results of this trip were immeasurably precious to both of us. We had the blessing of seeing numerous friends and relatives whom, I am ashamed to say, I've let slip slowly from my life over the years. Promises have been made by all that this will not happen again, and after gaining a new appreciation and respect for them, that is one promise I intend to keep. After being estranged from my father for the last four years, my mother's illness and subsequent death brought us all back together. Staying with and getting to catch up with my father was very cathartic to both my son and I. Not having his grandmother anymore, knowing he now has a grandfather he can rely on to be there is priceless. There was nothing I wanted more for my son than to have that. It's kinda nice for me to have him back in my life, too [understatement].
BUT...eleven days away from my husband, my stepchildren, my house and our pets is almost more than I can take. To listen to my husband and I on the phone, or to read our texts this past week, I'm sure you would swear we were two hyper-hormoned teenagers. I've been in Alberta for thirteen years. There is no place like the comfort of your own bed, the routine of your own household, the loving embrace of your partner in live, and the gift of watching your children grow; and all of this is in Alberta. My heart is torn; I've caught myself saying two recurring sentences while in Newfoundland: "I'm home from Alberta" and "When I go home to Alberta". Home really is where the love is.
I'll talk to you later,
Kelly
Monday, January 17, 2011
A Little Too Ambitious, I Guess.
Well, it is the second Monday after the start of my Blogger's Health Challenge...the Monday that I am supposed to make a draw from the names of the participants's who posted their progress yesterday, Sunday, for a reward. The response has been underwhelming, to say the least; there hasn't been any posts from my three fellow participants [insert tear stains here]. So, not being one to ignore the deafening silence, I have decided to put an end to the Challenge and to go it alone. I know, I know, people...but disappointment is a part of life, and I'm sure someday soon you'll forget all about this sad sad day. (Sarcasm, by the way, is not a highly recommended comedic tool in writing.)
Once in a while I will post my progress with my own goals, but I'm letting you all off the hook. Really, you don't need me to cheer you on...you have the power to succeed without me. Trust me, you can do it on your own. (Again - use of unnecessary and unappreciated sarcasm here.)
Just a sidenote: I'm across the country and have been particularily busy arranging my Mother's memorial service in our home province, so my own fitness ambition has been barely registering on the scales. So, I too am guilty of not really jumping on my own Challenge bandwagon.
I'll talk to you later,
Kelly
Once in a while I will post my progress with my own goals, but I'm letting you all off the hook. Really, you don't need me to cheer you on...you have the power to succeed without me. Trust me, you can do it on your own. (Again - use of unnecessary and unappreciated sarcasm here.)
Just a sidenote: I'm across the country and have been particularily busy arranging my Mother's memorial service in our home province, so my own fitness ambition has been barely registering on the scales. So, I too am guilty of not really jumping on my own Challenge bandwagon.
I'll talk to you later,
Kelly
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Challenge has Begun.
I'm a little late posting this, but I would like to welcome the first participants to my first annual Blogger's Health Challenge.
Welcome:
Misha from the blog My First Book.
Devin Bond from Devin's Musings.
Alex from Breakfast Every Hour.
It's only the first week of a five month challenge. Check out the details on this post on my blog. If you are interested in being a part of this, just make a comment stating your interest and then meet back on my blog every Sunday to post your week's progress. And remember, there is an awesome incentive to stay on track.
It would be fantastic if you could link my blog on your blog to get the word out. Let's make 2011 the year of the healthy, skinny writer.
Kelly.
http://write-at-home-with-kelly.blogspot.com/
Welcome:
Misha from the blog My First Book.
Devin Bond from Devin's Musings.
Alex from Breakfast Every Hour.
It's only the first week of a five month challenge. Check out the details on this post on my blog. If you are interested in being a part of this, just make a comment stating your interest and then meet back on my blog every Sunday to post your week's progress. And remember, there is an awesome incentive to stay on track.
It would be fantastic if you could link my blog on your blog to get the word out. Let's make 2011 the year of the healthy, skinny writer.
Kelly.
http://write-at-home-with-kelly.blogspot.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)